The Hilarious Tortures of Athrun Zala
by pythagoreantheorem2008
Summary: The title is self explanatory. Part of the oneshot is from my deleted story, Pieces of My Heart, but I couldn't help adding one more hilarious torture. Enjoy!


**Here are two chapters I chose from my recently-deleted fanfic, **_**Pieces of My Heart**_**. These were the ****funniest ****(as well as the ****most violent****) chapters and so I decided to keep them posted. ****This one-shot suits those people who are irritated at Zala.**** I also ended up adding a **_**little **_**more torture and comedy. That's me, eviiiil.**

**Summary: Zala is wanted by the police because he hit Cagalli with his car (by accident, of course). The following is what happens..**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, so you better not sue.**

Time stood still for Athrun. Is he willing to cooperate with the police? Athrun took a step back and noticed that he was pinned against the wall. The officer, who looked impatient, was taking a step nearer to him. The auntie and the niece went in.

"That's him! He hit the Representative!"

"Yes, Auntie is right! It is him!" The auntie stepped forward and stomped on Athrun's foot. "Take that, young man!"

"Auntie! Let me handle it." Gently pushing her aunt aside, she faced Athrun. "What you did was sick and wrong!" She started slapping Athrun. Hard. Painful. The aunt also joined in and stomped Athrun's foot using the heel. Three guards restrained the two from doing more damage to the plump face of Athrun and to the swelling foot of his.

A crowd had gathered while they were beating Athrun up. Suddenly, one of the people in the crowd yelled. "GET HIM!"

Everyone ran towards Athrun. It was a big stampede. You could feel the floor shaking. The guards were powerless. They could not possibly stop the sudden war for they were outnumbered. "Call for back-up!" The officer barked into his walkie-talkie, as he watched the crowd clobbering Athrun.

After the back-up officers arrived, they managed to calm down the furious mob. As poor, helpless, limping, swollen, black and blue Athrun was hauled out, handcuffed, a little boy no older than 10 went to him. The kid looked powerless and absolutely innocent. That's what you think.

"You deserve this, criminal!"

Without warning, the boy kicked Athrun where-it-really-hurts. Athrun's eyes widened and he yelped in surprise and in pain. As officers stifled their laughter, they continued leading Athrun to the waiting police car.

The surprise doesn't end there yet. A little girl of 5 wearing a frilly pink dress came up to him. She was holding a doll. She also looked like an angel. With a halo. Picture perfect, really. It was like she was going to ask for Athrun's autograph. NOT. With a smile on her face, she looked cute and absolutely harmless. MAYBE. Out of the blue, the little-innocent-angel used her doll as a weapon and continuously whacked Athrun with it, all the while screaming 'MEANIE!'. Also, if you look closer at the doll, you'll see that it was a Special Edition doll. A Special Edition that was made from a special material. Made from shiny, shiny, hard, hard steel. Ouch.

So, after the officers coaxed the girl to stop 'abusing-the-poor-helpless-fellow' and bribed her with a lollipop, the girl left with an angelic smile on her face once again. Hopping and singing. Picture perfect indeed. Laughing now, the officers shoved (practically threw) Athrun in the car to avoid any more degrading incidents. For now, Athrun Zala is going to visit the jail and stay there for a while. Who knows? Someone might bail him out. Maybe.

**(This is where the chapter ends in Pieces of My Heart, but the next chapter is also quite the read; so I give you..)**

Athrun was a bloody, limping, swollen, puffy, black and blue poor mess. After experiencing those degrading and painful incidents, he was chucked into a jail cell. Yes, a dirty, cramped, dull jail cell. There were some thugs inside the dirty, cramped, dull jail cell with him too. What joy… (note the sarcasm).

He was now lying on the floor, too weak and beaten to even stand up. Suddenly, one of the voices boomed right near his left ear.

"Look what we've got here! A coordinator…you finally did something wrong, Mr. Perfect?" Brute 1 kicked Athrun in the ribs, making the bloody, limping, swollen, puffy, black and blue poor fellow wince. "Stand up and use your perfect fighting ability against us, naturals."

Athrun groaned. Why were the gods punishing him so?

Brute 2 stepped up and used his foot to roll Athrun over. "I heard that you were injured by two young kids. What more could _we_ do to you?" The man sneered at him while the others cackled at the statement.

Brute 2 pulled Athrun to a standing position. Brute 1 then cracked his knuckles. "Let's play, 'who hits the hardest?'. I'll gladly start the game."

**A few minutes later**

Athrun exhaled. The good thing was one of the police officers saw that he was about to be abused again so the officer got Athrun out and chucked him in another cell. He was the only occupant. Now, he would not be tormented physically. Only occasional sneers and insults were thrown at him, courtesy of the "Brutes' Gang".

Suddenly, there was a lot of noise outside the jail. Some officers stood up and went out to check. After a while, the officers went back in. "A very angry mob has gathered outside. They said that they 'wish to see the person who hit the Representative'. I believe what they meant is, 'we want to beat the living daylights out of him'." The officer smirked and looked over at Athrun. "Know what, Mr. Zala? We never had this much angry mobs to handle in just one day. Congratulations, you just made a record."

Athrun silently groaned and he closed his eyes. Maybe he'll just wake up and discover that this is just a dream. No, nightmare. Yes, a very horrible nightmare.

"Yo, can't sleep now, boy." Athrun's eyes snapped wide open immediately, this was not his bed, not his room, and that guy in blue looming over him is definitely NOT his father. His father's dead… alternate reality, perhaps? No way.

"Wha-?" Athrun tried to speak but ended up croaking.

Officer 1 sighed. "We are transporting you into another prison, boy. You seriously wouldn't want another round of boxing, would you?"

**Now, this part is the 'added torture'.**

As they went out to a waiting police car (that was surrounded by a noisy mob), Athrun raised his head and..absorbed as much "fresh air" as he possibly could. All of a sudden, he noticed a red, baseball-sized object getting nearer and nearer. What could it be? The injured-beyond-compare coordinator was puzzled. Then, it hit him ( I mean it in both ways). It was a water balloon filled with orange paint.

Splat!

Another landed on his chest. It was black. What were they trying to do? Halloween was still a long way off (black + orange Boo!).

The officers, who were practically cracking up, heaved Athrun and just about threw him in. The impact. Tsk-tsk. Ouch. Hopefully, the bruise won't be that big..maybe.

**That's all I've got.. for now.**


End file.
